A Series of Lasts

Usually in these design blogs I outline my design processes and post photos of show progress. I have been using these blogs as a way to document my design work both for myself and for my annual faculty report required of all MRU faculty.

The Winter's Tale

I started blogging details about my designs because of the nature of the faculty reporting system here at MRU. The system has faculty list their work and accomplishments. Somehow "designed set and lights for Twelve Angry Men" doesn't encompass the scope of the activity. It is one item on a list and one could say "Okay, you've built a bridge. And what else did you do?". So these blogs try to bridge that gap between the amount of work involved in designing a production and people's perception that things just magically appear.

Set and Lights going together for "The Winter's Tale"

As I work through the last couple of months and couple of shows of my theatre and teaching career, I am experiencing a series of lasts and my reaction to those lasts. "The Winter's Tale", a coproduction with The Shakespeare Company, is the second last production of Theatre MRU and the last production in which I will be involved in the Nickle Theatre. I was part of the design and construction of this Theatre back in 1992. So working on the last production is poignant. Or should be. I'm finding there is a good deal of "it doesn't matter, we won't need this again" going on.  From "drill a hole in it, we won't need that production table again", to chopping up stock size platforms to fit our needs for a production because it will never go into stock again.

I'm also getting quite a few queries about what we are doing with our "stuff" when we're gone. I had experienced this kind of attitude once before when the Niagara College Theatre Program was axed in 1989. It is fascinating how people can have no qualms about picking over your dead body before you are actually cold. I'm reminded of the line from that wonderful awful film "Ishtar":  Warren Beatty crawling through a sand desert speaking to a vulture "What? Are you crazy? I'M still moving'!"

Haysam Kadri gets all jealous as Leontes in "The Winter's Tale"

So we have a season of lasts this year. Last play in the Nickle Theatre. Last time for the rock 'n roll lighting projects. Last reading break! Last time in the Wright Theatre. With all these lasts, some of the lasts are actually a relief;  last time I get a request for student technicians to come and put up decorations in a community centre hall for a Hallowe'en party - the students will do it for the experience! Last time a colleague tells me that I'm good at the theatre "design stuff" and I should consider doing it as a living!

Theatre MRU / The Shakespeare Co. Co-production of "The Winter's Tale"

It feels at times like I've come full circle. I started working in amateur theatre. Garden City Productions and Press Theatre in St. Catharines Ontario were the amateur theatres where I started working theatre lighting. I remember at the time thinking it was odd that everyone switch roles for each production. "Ok Fred, you designed the scenery for the last musical, what say you Stage Manage the next one and I'll do the set design? Great! Wonderful, I'm excited! ... Just one question... what does a Stage Manager do?"

I decided then, it was the professional theatre I wanted. After working and designing professionally for a number of years, I went back to GCP to design one of their musicals thinking it might be fun. Not! The set designer didn't think it important to draw floor plans to scale or make a model. Various pieces of scenery would be scattered about randomly with no spike marks so it was impossible to figure out how to light the scene from moment to moment. Finally, on dress rehearsal night, the main curtain closed on one scene, there was a lot of banging and muffled but excited talking behind the curtain, then the curtain opened, the lights came up on an empty scene, and a stage hand in overalls trod onstage shielding her eyes from the light and yelled out "What scene is this supposed to be?" Yes they are funny stories in retrospect, but in the moment it is extremely stressful.

The full circle is, that here, 30 years later, there are still too many moments like that - especially in "professional theatre". During a particularly awful production at Stage West, the Technical Director was hovering behind the Director who was furiously writing notes during a tech run. He leaned forward, whispered in the Director's ear "polishing the turd, polishing the turd". Oh my god that is funny! And soooo true!

There are so many horribly ignorant comments and notes received from over the years it is impossible to list them all but I will try:

• The scene is way too bright but I can't see the actors face - could you do something about that?
• Designer during early design discussions "How do you see this scene in Hamlet?" Director: "Oh I don't know, you're the designer, whatever you think best." Director during light levels "What the f**k is this? It is supposed to be cold and rainy and dark and dreary!"
• "Doug!! DOUG!!!! It is still too dark up here! This is a comedy you know! Not a fucking Pinter play!"
• "Why is the light up on the upper platform during this scene?" "Umm... because you asked for it?" "Don't give me what I asked for give me what I need!!!"
• Costume Designer to the Director "Do we have a budget for lighting design?" Director "yes". Costume Designer: "Well if we have budget for a real designer, why are we using Doug?"
• I'll know when I see it
• Now that I see the costumes on the actors, I can't see their faces.
• What are those lights up there for (pointing). Can't we use some of those?
• What colour gel are you using? "Rosculux 02 and 60". "Oh.... um... is that Cinemoid?"
• What is that sound level at? "-8db" "Well bring it to -16db it is too soft!"
• Can't we just fly something in from the ceiling? There is no fly system. You are always causing me problems.
• Props can't get the mechanical bat to work. Can we do it with lights?
• LX Designer to Set Designer "That bobbinette drop will not function like a scrim." Set Designer "Oh yes.. you just have to light it from the front." LX Designer "I know how to light a scrim, this is not a scrim!" Don't worry it will be fine when I paint the bobbinette drop. Later.... Set Designer "OMG we can see the WHOLE SET CHANGE! there's something wrong with the lights!"
• Another department in the university: "Can we use the theatre next Friday for an event?" Us: "You will need a technician to handle your tech requirements".. Them "We don't need any technical support". Later... "OMG where is the screen, I need a microphone and podium, do you have a projector? I need a special light on the podium to go up at the same time that the houselights go down and then when the speaker says "On slide one" we need the projector screen to show the powerpoint. Do you have a laptop? Can the speaker have a microphone on his lapel so he can walk around... wireless would be great. Oh btw, we are having food brought in for the audience to have a little reception with drinks on the stage after the talk. I hope that's ok?"
• Is that the only grand piano you have?
• Director: We need the followspot on the him for the song. (Spot on Singer) Ummm what is that huge shadow on the wall of the set? Designer: "That would be the shadow of the singer in the followspot". Director: "Well get rid of it!"

Edit: As I'm writing this blog I just received an email that illustrates the kind of questions we get asked almost every week (I'm paraphrasing and deleting names to protect the ignorant):

"Hi. My name is XXXXX and I am the Chair of the Senior 50+ Entertainment Committee for our community centre. I'm wondering if you can help us. We are wanting to put on a theatre show at our community centre. We need help with two things; 1) A Play and 2) A Director. We have looked around the internet for a comedy / comedy - murder mystery that is about 45 minutes but most things we can find require a fee and a royalty to be paid. We don't have a great deal of budget but we can pay for a director to help us. Many of our members are very excited and already signing up for auditions. Would you have a student that might be interested in "getting their feet wet" with an activity like this?"

The Walking Dead

Dracula 2014

Last production. My first production when I started teaching post-secondary was Dracula in 1980. It was a horrible horrible awful lousy stressful boring sloppy mess. Thirty-four years later, Dracula 2014 is a wonderful, well-acted, beautifully directed and wonderful piece of theatre. It is a lovely way to end my teaching and theatre career. Almost nobody saw it; which is typical for Theatre MRU. However, there was some great work and terrific learning happening here. 

Sunrise on Dracula, Sunset on Theatre MRU

So long and thanks for all the fish!

The show is now closed and the scenery, props, costumes and lights struck, and the stage repainted to remove all traces of our being there. Crews are painting over the class murals in the shops.

I teach my last class Thursday April 10. Thus ends a 34 year teaching and a 40 year theatre career. The good news; I interview this afternoon for my new career!

More good news! I've been working at Long & McQuade Calgary South store since May 5! It is wonderful. Goodbye Mount Royal University!